The Dating Game Session 1: The Fundamentals

Welcome to the official blog for "The Dating Game" of Watermark Single Adult Ministry. We'll post thoughts, good articles, and summaries of each week's session for you to read through, dialogue about and ask questions. We will do our best to answer all questions and comments posted on the blog.

Tonight, we discussed the basic fundamentals of dating, and really of relationships and started off with this simple truth: Romans 12:1-2 teaches us that the world is constantly asking and enticing us to conform to patterns that it considers normal, while God has outlined ways that He promises will transform our lives and help us to discern His will for our life. The way our culture views dating and relationships is no exception to this rule, so we must constantly ask ourselves the question, "Is my view of dating (or whatever) consistent with God's view or is it one of the patterns that I have chosen to conform to?"

So, how can we keep from conforming and instead be transformed? These verses say that we are transformed by the renewing of our mind, which comes through the revelation of God through His Word, His Spirit, and His people. Therefore, we said that the goal of these next 5 weeks is this:

Not to give you a formula for dating success, but to expose the patterns of the world for what they are and to offer you a new lens to look through to transform and redeem your view of dating for the will and purposes of God.

So, we looked at 7 Foundational Principles for renewing our mind. Here they are. These are basic, but crucial for beginning our discussion of this topic.

1. We were created for relationships (Genesis 1:26; 2:18; Matthew 22:37-39; Psalm 139:1-4)
2. All relationships are broken (Genesis 3), therefore dating is broken.
3. All human relationships will leave us unsatisfied (John 4:9-18; Ecclesiastes 2:8-11)
4. Our only hope for restored relationships is the Passion of Jesus Christ (1 John 4:10; John 6:35)
5. God is aware of and interested in our desire for relationships (Psalm 37:3-7)
6. God's answer to your desire for romantic relationships is marriage, not dating.
7. Marriage is emotional, physical, and spiritual "oneness" that only comes through daily dying (Ephesians 5:22-27; Philippians 2:3-8; Romans 12:1).

We then wrapped up this discussion with one very concise, simple, yet incredibly difficult application point. If we were created for relationships, but all relationships are broken and will leave us unsatisfied, then we must look to the One who has restored all relationships, pursue his purposes for relationships, and imitate his model of perfection in relationships. What is that? Simply put, it is daily dying to self. Romans 12:1 says we are "living sacrifices" if we have submitted our lives to the mercy of God. If that is true, what evidence of "death to self" is there in my life.

I firmly believe this, if you want to prepare for dating and therefore, for marriage, the best preparation is to practice daily dying. Take every opportunity to do so, because this is what our Savior did for us, it is what a great relationship with Him will be built on, and it is what a great relationship with our brothers and sisters in Christ will ultimately be based on. So, take every opportunity to practice it . . . with a friend, a neighbor, a co-worker, an "enemy," a family member, a stranger, anyone. This will transform your view of dating, your view of those you date, and most importantly of yourself. Are you dating to be served, or to serve (see Mark 10:45)?

Praying for each of you that you will allow this simple truth to transform your heart this week.